


Took You Long Enough

by ImpalaChevy67



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Awkward Boners, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkward Tension, Awkwardness, Bad Puns, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Hogwarts, How Do I Tag, I Blame Tumblr, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Puns & Word Play, Sarcasm, Sass, You Have Been Warned, basically everything about this is either awkward or epic, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2018-11-15 09:53:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11228541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpalaChevy67/pseuds/ImpalaChevy67
Summary: Other than being a werewolf, Remus is a perfectly ordinary, intelligent, maybe just a bit more sarcastic than normal, guy who blushes way too often. Perfectly ordinary. Thus, it's perfectly normal not to believe that his gorgeous, quarterback, get-me-all-the-girls best friend is in love with him. It's too good to be true and it must be one of those goddamn, awful pranks. It has to be. He's not as naive as to get his hopes up.





	1. Status: Corrupted

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters will be short, be prepared.

I walked in the Gryffindor common room only to see James and Sirius completely ignoring all the homework we had to do and instead nicely chatting with eachother while playing Exploding Snap. Peter was sleeping softly on the couch by the fire and no-one else was there since it was well past bed-time. I frowned at their insouciance and idifference for any sort of studying.

I walked over to them, slamming my books on the table, making some of the cards explode.

"You should be studying."

While James cleaned the smoke and dirt off his glasses, Sirius smirked at me.

"Why bother? You're going to do our homework anyway."

I glared (not really, I can't glare at them) and my voice dropped a little.

"Forget it. Why would I do your work?"

"Because, dear Moony, you want us to pass."

I sighed. I would do it and I knew it. I just dropped my body on the chair next to Sirius's and lay my head on the wood, my eyes fluttering shut. I was just about to drift off when a rough hand ruffled my hair and a loud voice said;

"Also, what were you doing out past curfew, naughty Moony?"

"Ugh! Not this again! Pads, you know bloody well I am a prefect. It's my job to be out past curfew, for fuck's sake."

"Nu-uh, don't be a _swear_ wolf now, Rem." James joined in.

I groaned. Not again. They were going to start all those stupid puns again and I just couldn't take it.

"Please, Pads, Prongs, shut up."

After a moment of silence, I looked up, curious as to why they had actually shut up. I knew it was trouble when I saw the obvious-as-a-brick-to-the-face fake expression of hurt on James's face.

"I am _deer_ ly sorry. I apologize."

"Myself as well, I promise to stop being a... _bitch_."

I closed my eyes again, shutting out their voices and letting sleep's sweet embrace tighten around me.

* * *

When I woke up, a hand was in my hair, stroking softly, and my friends were arguing about something. One glance at the sofa confirmed that Peter was still sleeping and now even lightly snoring. It didn't take long to realize that the hand tangled in my blonde tufts belonged to Sirius. However, that didn't make it any less weird.

"Uhm... What are you doing, Sirius?"

"I'm telling you, James, no way it's called 'nuss'! I mean- Oh, your hair is soft and you didn't seem to mind. If it's bothering you I can-"

"I don't mind." I really didn't, for unknown reasons (unknown, my ass).

"Good. Where was I? Yes! It can't be called 'nuss'!"

I didn't have the foggiest idea about what they were on about.

"It has to be! It's between the nuts and the ass, it makes sense!"

"We'll ask the smartest one here. Hey, Moons, what do you call the skin between the dick and the asshole?"

I slowly got up, gathered my books, fixed my clothes in silence for a bit of suspense before deadpanning;

"A table."

They looked at each other in question before their eyes fell on the table between them. Then, they looked at me in horror. I merely smirked and said;

"Goodnight, gentlemen."

I turned around and walked to the bedrooms, smiling when I heard James's voice.

"I think we corrupted him, Pads."

That night, I fell asleep with a wide smile on my scarred face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


	2. Good day, my ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :)

I opened my eyes slowly and immediately decided it was going to be a good day. I smiled and threw the covers off of my body.

It was the first day of the christmas holiday and the castle would be almost empty any time now, since most kids would go home to their parents, including Peter. James, who usually missed no opportunity to see his family, had chosen to stay at Hogwarts in order to charm Lily Evans, who had stayed to keep Snape company, since he hated going back home.

I got up and looked out the window. My smile spread from ear to ear upon seeing the pure, unadulterated snow covering the school's grounds.

I pulled a red sweater over my head and quickly changed my pyjama bottom with a pair of jeans before grabbing my wand and quickly making my bed using a simple spell.

I cast a brief glance at the other beds in the dorm and it took me by surprise to see James and Sirius's beds made all prim and proper, just the way I myself had made them the previous morning. I suspected that they never came up during the night because it was less than likely for them to make their beds. I glanced behind me only to see that Peter had woken up and was staring dumbly at me.

"Why are you so h-happy today, Moony?" he said with a big yawn.

"It's almost Christmas, Pete! Aren't you excited?"

"Not really."

"Whatever. Get dressed and come down for breakfast." I said before opening the door and walking down the stairs to the common room, only to find it empty.

Frowning at the absence of my best friends I rolled up my sleeves and got out in the hallway.

Smiling happily at all the portraits I quickened my pace towards the dining hall. I felt like nothing could ruin my mood at that moment.

I confidently walked to the Gryffindor table and sat down next to Sirius and across from James, grabbing a piece of toast.

Most students had already packed and were saying goodbye to each other as they left to catch the Hogwarts Express to go home.

"'Morning, Moons" said James around a mouthful of omelette, flashing a lopsided grin.

"Good morning, Prongs, Pads. Is it my imagination or did you not come upstairs during the night?" I inquired after swallowing my bite of the deliciously crispy toast.

"We didn't actually." said Sirius slowly.

I was surprised at how raspy and breathy his voice was. He sounded like he had been screaming for a long while. What had he been _doing_ all night?

"What were you doing?" I asked casually, glancing at Sirius sideways momentarily before looking at James questioningly.

"Nothing much, me at least. I couldn't even find Evans last night. Sirius on the other hand..." He trailed off.

"Sirius what?" I was really curious because it wasn't like Sirius to be so under the weather.

"Well, you see, he-"

"Zip it, Prongs!"

The hostility in his voice made my jaw drop because, seriously (not a word), James and Sirius are like twin brothers, inseparable. Something was up and I just had to know.

"What happened, Pads?" I asked more softly, hoping to ease the tension.

However, when he looked at me, the bitterness was completely gone, replace by a strange mixture of fondness and caution.

"Nothing important, Moons, don't worry." he said and leaned on me.

Even though I was really damn happy with the close proximity I was really damn sad with the red and purple marks on his neck. He had snogged someone during the night. I tried not to stare too much. But I wanted to know who. Maybe if I approached it humoristically like a normal best friend would I would get the answers and not let him suspect anything.

"Hey, Pads, I'm a werewolf and even I don't bite like that." I whispered so that only Sirius and James could hear me.

But, instead of laughing and bragging about his innumerable conquests like he always did, he pulled away from me as if I had burnt him, covering the marks with his hand and pulling the collar of his shirt higher. I decided to feign nonchalance and managed a small laugh.

"Hey, hey, calm down, it's not like we don't have an idea of what you do on your free time."

"Stop it, Rem."

It was low and almost a whisper and it made my smile drop from my face. Something was up.

Bollocks. It looks like something could ruin my mood after all. It was _so_ not going to be a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


	3. Talk to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :)

This couldn't go on, it just couldn't. Something was terribly wrong.

We had gone outside, beside the lake, and Sirius was actually bloody serious. Not a single joke since the night before, not a single pun. Not to mention that Sirius, who usually eats enough for three people, didn't even touch his breakfast.

What's the worst though is that he raised his collar whenever he saw me looking at his neck, as if to hide the hikeys. I mean, it's not like we didn't know they were there. And he always brags about his conquests so I was fed up with his strange behaviour. I decided to ask him.

"Hey, Pads, what's wrong?"

I was bloody sure that James wanted to know the answer to that as well because when he heard me, he put the stolen snitch in his pocket and listened closely.

"What d'you mean, Moons? Everything's fine."

"Yeah, terrific." I said, without even bothering to mask the sarcasm. "You're not acting like yourself."

He scoffed at me and rolled his grey eyes. My hands tightened around the book I was holding in order to maintain a straight face.

"Everything's peachy, Rem, really."

I wasn't bying it.

"Now, why do I doubt that?"

"Because you're keen on overanalyzing shit, Moony."

" _Or_ maybe because something happened and you are not telling us. What's more, you're trying, not succeeding, mind you, to pretend everything is just dandy."

James watched quietly and I am quite certain that is the longest he has gone without speaking.

I was shocked, to say the least, when Sirius looked at me with anger and hostility in his eyes. What shocked me the most, however, was his next sentence.

"And you know all about pretending, don't you, Lupin?"

James gasped

Not only was the bastard playing the werewolf card, he was also using my last name, as if we were enemies. In the time it took me to process what he had said, he stood and started making his way to the castle without another word.

But, no. I'd be damned if I let the prat storm off without apologizing or telling me what was wrong. Ladies and gents, he was about to witness something he had never seen before; Remus John Lupin, in his very human form, angry.

I stood as well and with four big steps caught up to him, standing in front of him to block his way.

"Step aside."

"Not until you tell me what that shit you pulled was about."

Over Sirius' shoulder, I could see James carefully walking towards us, as if entering unfamilliar territory.

"Step aside now, Remus."

"No. You can't just~"

I didn't even get to finish my sentence. He just moved forward, grabbed by forearm and shoved me out of the way. Naturally, my being lanky and quite frail didn't help much and I ended up falling on the grass, my head hitting a big stone.

Everything got quite blurry. I could hear James yelling at Sirius something that sounded awfully like 'Don't you fucking dare hurt him, you bloody git!'. I could also hear Sirius' response 'He was asking for it.', or something like that.

The blur didn't clear out. If anything, it got worse and worse and, eventually, I sank in the depth of unconsciousness, worried about Sirius. This was bloody serious, pun intended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


	4. Don't be a bloody git!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :)

"When he wakes up, you are  _so_ apologizing to him."

"No. I'm sticking around enough to make sure I didn't make permanent damage and then I'm out of here before he gets a chance to talk to me."

"Like hell I'm letting you do that. Are you out of your mind? You hurt Moony. We're supposed to shield him from harm, not harm him ourselves. You know he's sensitive. When he wakes up, you'll fall on your knees and say sorry. Repeatedly. Until he forgives you."

I knew it was wrong of me to just listen to them but the prats were talking about me. And James was right, Sirius should apologize to me the moment I opened my eyes. But wait a minute... Did James just call me 'sensitive'?

"Why should I? He should know better than to stick his nose in other people's business."

"He cares about you, you git! We all do. When something is up with you we~"

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Prongs, nothing is up!"

"If nothing is up why did you get all annoyed when he asked?"

"Look, okay, something's fucking up, but I don't want him to know."

Now, would you look at that... That prick...

" _Now_ we're getting somewhere! Why would that be?"

"Why indeed?" I butted in, rising slowly, wincing at the ache on the side of my head. My voice was hoarse.

The hostility in James' eyes vanished and he looked at me worriedly.

"Hey, I didn't know what to do so I brought you to the Infirmary. Are you okay?"

"Peachy."

"Good, now if you'll excuse me..." Sirius said and stood, turning away from the bed.

Not so fast, honey. I grabbed his hand and pulled him right back while at the same time standing up. Everything spun a bit but I didn't let go. My voice sounded a bit higher than the near-growl I had used before when I spoke.

"No, we will not excuse you. What's going on, Sirius? What aren't you telling me?"

He tried to tug his arm free but he'd have to hurt me again to do that. For sure, he wasn't going to.

"Nothing of import, let me go!"

"No! Not until you talk to me. Aren't we supposed to be best friends? Brothers, even?"

"Well, that's the bloody problem!"

His answer confused and shocked me a bit and he used my momentary shut-down to his advantage. He pulled away and practically ran out of the Infirmary. I meant to run after him but James' hand heavy on my shoulder kept me in place.

"Better wait for now. Give him a bit of time, he'll never talk now."

I sighed but accepted his advice and went on to convince Madam Pomfrey that I was alright to leave. It took a while but, in the end, I walked right out, James by my side, heading for the Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

We were sitting in the common room, doing our holiday homework. Well, at least James was. Sirius was aggressively lighting and putting out the fire with his wand while I was glaring daggers at him silently. James' voice drew my eyes to his face.

"Well, this is funny."

"What is?" Sirius practically hissed, voice dripping poison.

"We have an essay on the differences between animagi and werewolves."

Sirius snorted.

"Well, you could write that animagi get the hint to leave others alone."

It was on.

"Maybe, but werewolves aren't total dicks."

He fixed me with a strange look.

"Well, animagi certainly don't keep important things from their friends."

That bastard,

"Oh, really? Because a certain werewolf can swear that's not the case. Becasue werewolves, you know, care about their friends."

"Friends, hah!"

"Enough, you two! Think about me a little! I'm sitting here, watching you two quarrelling like an old married couple." We both visibly flinched at James' words. "If you want to fight, go do it somewhere else, although I'd prefer it if my best friends didn't fight at all."

"We're sorry, Prongs." I said at the same time Sirius said; "Tell that to him!"

"Both of you shut up!" James' voice was much more stern than usual. "I'm going up to the dorm and I don't want either of you coming upstairs without having resolved this, understood?"

"Yes, Sir." We said at the same time, slightly teriffied.

"Good." James said and headed for the stairs.

I was alone in the deserted common room with Sirius and it was a damn perfect time to get my bloody answers. He was in the wolf's den, quite literally. I almost smiled at the utter irony.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


	5. I don't believe you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :)

"Talk to me."

"No."

It was the fifth time this happened. We were still in the common room, no others with us, and Sirius was staring at the fire, refusing to look at or talk to me.

"Why?"

"I don't want to."

This wasn't getting me anywhere. Sirius was just too stubborn to deal with.

"Please, Pads."

"I'm sorry, you know. For shoving you earlier, I didn't mean to. I was out of my mind."

At least now he was saying something other than 'no' to me. And I truly appreciated the apology.

"Apology accepted. Now will you tell me what is going on with you? I care about you, I'm worried."

There was no way my pathetic repeat of what me and James had said earlier would convince him to talk. I had to do something else.

"Remember when you first found out I was a werewolf? Didn't you ask me to talk to you and tell you everything? Didn't I do it? Can you do the same now?"

It was still pathetic, no way he~

"I guess you have a point..."

Holy shit! My pathetic excuse of a reason worked, I can't believe this.

"I do, don't I? Come on, what are you afraid of?"

He flinched as if I'd hexed him. I think that hit close to home. So, he's afraid...

"I'm scared that... I'll lose you..."

I stared at him dumbly, trying to think of a single reason why he'd lose me other than him killing me himself.

"Uhm... Why would you think that?"

He suddenly turned his head and looked at me, his black curls framing his eyes.

"I don't think it, I know it. If I tell you, you'll be mad at me and you won't want to see me again."

I had no idea what he was talking about. Not the foggiest. Regardless, I wasn't going to stop him now that he was talking.

"I can promise you that nothing can be so bad that I won't ever want to see you again. I may be angry for a little while but everything will be good again, okay? Everything's going to be alright."

He took a deep breath.

"I think I'm in love with you." He blurted out quickly before dropping his gaze to the carpet in front of him. I was at shock.

"Huh?"

"I said,~"

"I heard you! What~ How~ When~ How is that related to your assholeness today?"

"I'll explain, just give me a moment."

"Sure..." I muttered, still looking at him confused. He can't mean it. He just can't.

"Look, last night I paid Marlene McKinnon a visit in her dorm and we shagged. But the problem is I didn't really like her and I didn't really want her and she knew that. She got angry because I called out the wrong name and we had a fight. She... she told me that I never stood a chance because we're friends and because you're straight."

"How would she know?"

"What do you mean? She said you shagged once, that's why I was angry and said that you keep stuff from us. I was angry you didn't tell us."

That lying bitch!

"I didn't. We didn't. Nothing happened, I don't even like her! Rest assured, if something like that happened you and James would probably know in a heartbeat by how red my face would be. Now back to that other thing. What do you mean you're in love with me?"

He snorted and scoffed.

"I mean what I said. I think I'm in love with you. It's one of the reasons I was angry at you. If I was in love with you, that would make me gay and I was too much of a dick to see that it's okay."

Part of me wanted to believe him. Badly. But no. It was too good to be true, too magical, too romantic... Jmes probably told him that I fancy him and they decided to pull a prank on me like they did with Davey Gudgeon when they found out he fancied James. What can I say, I have the best (so not) friends in the whole wide world.

"I don't believe you."

He looked at me with a hurt expression. It's a mask, Remus, focus.

"W-what?"

"Why would you fall in love with me when you could have anyone else? You like girls, Sirius, and they like you. Let's just call this prank off and tell me what's really going on."

"I am in love with you, it's not a prank!"

"James told you, didn't he?"

"Told me what?"

"Don't play dumb, that I'm in love with you!" I almost screamed.

"He didn't tell me anything, really. I  _am_ in love with you, please believe me." He almost sounded~ No! I can't get my hopes up.

"I don't want to get hurt so when you decide that the joke is over, we'll talk normally."

I stood and made for the dorm before he could follow, my heart aching dully. I was used to it, having to spend year after year with the one I love, watching him hook up with so many others... Heartachhe was a daily occurence in my life...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


	6. Hogsmeade, Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :)

When I got to the dorm, James was already asleep, his glasses slowly slipping from his relaxed face and his wand held loosely in his hand. I walked over to him, gently took his glasses and his wand and placed them both on the nightstand between our beds, my own wand following suit soon. I shut the curtains around him and walked to my own bed, starting to undress.

In nothing but my underwear, I slipped under the covers and stared at the ceiling of my bed, trying to empty my mind of anything and everything.

I failed and my thoughts flew to the scene in the Common Room.

Ever since I walked away from Sirius, I had avoided thinking about what he'd said for fear of breaking down in tears.

They were bloody ruthless, cruel, unforgiving...

I mean, sure, they'd played some pretty cruel pranks before but they'd never toyed with emotions that much. Not to mention, never on _my_ expense. I was supposed to be their friend, their brother. Not another loser to fall victim to their bullying. We were supposed to be a team.

I rolled on my side when I heard the door open. I didn't want to see Sirius and it could only be him since we three and a couple of girls were the only Gryffindors in the castle for Christmas.

I heard him inhale sharply, as if he were preparing to say something but he didn't utter a single word. I didn't know if I was thankful for that or not. Not long afterwards, it started to rain and the monotonous sound served as a lullaby. Soon, I was dreaming of some very familiar black curls and grey eyes.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of James and Sirius arguing. Again. I swear one day I'll kill them both.

"Look, I don't know why he thinks that, Si. I suppose the only thing you can do is prove to him that you're really in love with him. The only thing I'm worried about is that he thinks I spilt his secret to you. Now he's never going to trust me again."

Oh. Then James didn't tell him? Then I guess Sirius found out on his own.

"And what do I do to prove it?"

"I don't know! Take Veritaserum and tell him like that!"

"I don't know where to steal it from..."

"I wasn't being serious!"

"I was."

I could prectically hear the smirk in his voice and I had to bite my hand not to laugh out loud at that. At least he's back to talking to James and making jokes. I thought it was about time I 'woke up'.

I audibly yawned to let them know that I was awake. Suddenly, silence filled the room. Unbareable silence, dare I say.

I almost threw the covers off of me before remembering that I was wearing just my boxers. Bugger.

"Uhm, guys?"

"Yeah?" They said in unison and I blushed.

"Could you... like... get out for a moment?"

"Sure." James said just as Sirius said; "Why?"

I groaned.

"I'm nearly naked and I would appreciate the privacy."

It's not that they haven't seen me naked before. It's that I hate the scars. I absolutely despise them and I also hate the look of sympathy James has whenever he thinks I can't see him staring at them. So... I've just decided not to let them see them.

"Okay, sure..." Sirius said fianlly and moved to get out and was that the tiniest blush I saw?!? No way, it's just too early for me to concentrate properly.

I was quick about getting dressed and grabbing my wand before opening the door to find them both right outside.

"So... what do you want to do?" I asked, looking at James and briefly at Sirius just to let him know I was talking to him as well. He, on the other hand, had his eyes fixed on me and showed no intention of averting them any time soon.

"Shall we go for breakfast?" James provided, clearly uncomfortable.

"Yeah, sounds good." Sirius said.

"I'm not really that hungry so you two go ahead and~"

"You know what? I'm not that hungry either." Sirius said, interrupting me loudly.

Bastard. Truth is, I was starving but I wanted to avoid him. Now, not only would I keep being hungry, but he would also find a way to be wherever I am. That tosser.

"What do you guys say we all go to Hogsmeade? It's going to be fun." James suggested, trying to difuse the tension.

I liked the idea but I knew Sirius liked it too. But, after all, there was no way I could avoid him. So why not go?

"You know, James, that is a wonderful idea. I fully support it."

"As do I." Sirius added softly, barely audibly.

"So to Hogsmeade we go!" James announced enthusiastically and we went to get the Map and the Invisibility Cloak. It was going to be good.

* * *

"I say we go to the Three Broomsticks!"

"I don't want to! I want to go to Zonko's!"

"Both of you shut up!" I said exasperatedly. They were impossible.

We had only just gotten to Hogsmeade and they couldn't even decide on where to go. Suddenly, Sirius cleared his throat, which caught my attention.

"I say we go wherever Moony wants to go." He said, looking straight (pun unintended) into my eyes. It was actually so intense that I had to break eye-contact.

"Sounds good." James quickly agreed.

"So, where do you want to go to, Moons?"

I wasn't usually the one to make the decision so I didn't know what to suggest. After a long moment of me thinking, I said;

"How 'bout we go to Honeydukes for some chocolate and then we go for tea at Madam Puddifoot's?"

They both looked quite opposed to the idea, maybe they considered it too... too lame, I guess. I was quick to attempt to take it back.

"Of course, if you don't want~"

"I think it would be great, don't you agree, James?"

My jaw dropped. Did Sirius just say that the lameass-est thing of all the lameass things I've ever said sounded bloody 'great'? I mean, obviously, _I_  likedthe idea but I thought nobody else would. Well, that was certainly a surprise.

I looked at James and had to bite my lip not to laugh when he grit his teeth before muttering a 'yes, fine'.

I smiled widely and grabbed them both by the hands to go to Honeydukes. This turned out to be great after all.

* * *

After we had gone to Honeydukes and James spent a huge amount of time trying to pick the perfect sweets to give to Lily Evans later, we were walking towards the tea shop.

Suddenly, James started walking backwards and discussing something with Sirius but I wasn't listening. I had just realized that, at some point, James had let go of my hand and I was just holding hands with Sirius. Like a bloody couple.

And, looking back and retracing our steps in Hogsmeade, I had been holding hands with just Sirius for quite some time. I suddenly blushed and tried to tentatively pull my hand back but he was holding it too tightly for me to move it and he wasn't even realizing it. Or was he?

I saw James looking at me questioningly, probably having asked me something.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" I asked politely.

"I asked you if you'll be going to the next Hogsmeade visit."

I squinted my eyes in confusion.

"Yes, of course, why wouldn't I?"

James and Sirius shared a look before James turned back to me and Sirius decided that the ground was an oh-so-very interesting thing to look at.

"Well, you see, it's on Valentine's Day."

"So?"

"Who will you be taking."

"No one. You?" I am always quick to turn the subject away from me when I am uncomfortable.

"I'll try to get Evans to go with me but, as concerns you, it'll be Hell because this place will be swarming with lovey-dovey, sickining fluff."

I sighed and chose not to dignify that with an answer. What was I supposed to tell him when, clearly, I'd love to be part of the 'lovey-dovey, sickening fluff'? I just kept on walking, Sirius' hand around mine almost forgotten. Almost.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


	7. Hogsmeade, Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :)

"....And it's unbelievably fast! You cannot begin to imagine the speed it reaches!"

"Seriously? Oh, Merlin, I want it! But there is no way I...."

They were talking about broomsticks and I could care less. Actually, I couldn't. I quietly sipped my tea and looked around at the romantic entourage. Suddenly, James' change of tone shook me from my zone. Oh, look, that rhymed! Godric, I'm so lame...

"I gotta go to the loo, I won't be long."

"Nor will you be thick." Sirius joked and my face flushed from embarrassement.

James smacked him on the head before standing and walking over to the restroom. I was left alone with Sirius... Awkward...

"So...." He stalled. "Why?"

"Why what?" I asked even though I knew bloody well what he was asking me.

"Why don't you believe me, Remus?" I couldn't look at him but I could hear the hurt in his voice. He had to be faking it, though, no other way.

"Because it can't be true. You're... too far out of my league. You're handsome -gorgeous, actually-, you have this badass, punk rock, playboy aura and you certainly are bloody sexy. I'm not any of those things. I'm scarred, ordinary and even your grades are higher than my self-esteem. Why on Earth would someone like you fall for someone as pathetic as me."

It was very difficult to keep the waters from falling as I said those things. As I let it out.

"First of all, don't you dare call the person I love pathetic! Second of all,  _I_ am not the one who is out of  _your_ league, it's the bloody opposite! You're smart, caring, gentle, beautiful, so cutely innocent and clueless. Can't you see that?"

I could hear his voice trying to make me understand. Trying to make me believe him. But I couldn't, no matter how much I wanted to.

"Obviously not. I am not beautiful..."

"Yeah, to me, you are!"

"I am average, why would you settle for average?!"

We were practically screaming at that point, drawing the attention of the other customers in the shop.

"Dammit, Moons, we don't choose who we love! I didn't look at you and think 'Oh, he's a good one, I'll fall in love with him.'! I looked at you and I felt butterflies in my stomach! Love is not a choice!"

I must admit he did have a point. Just as I didn't choose to fall in love with him...

"When has anything ever gone my way, Pads?! When has anything good ever happened to me?!"

"What are you~?"

"Answer me!" I growled and if I didn't know better, I'd say I was the wolf. That a full moon suddenly happened and was making me aggressive. I even scared myself.

"What about James and Peter and bloody  _me_ , Moony?! Weren't we something good that happened to you?! Didn't we make any difference?! Don't we mean anything to you?!"

By now I was crying, thick droplets of crystal tears staining my cheeks and dripping in my tea. He was crying too, but his tears looked black due to the eye-liner he insested on wearing.

"Of-sodding-course you mean  _everything_ to me!"

"So something good has happened to you after all! What do I have to do?! What do I have to do to make you see?! Just tell me and I'll bloody do it!"

"I don't know!!"

And I really didn't. What could he possibly do? What could he possibly do to break down the walls my mind built around my heart? I couldn't think of anything...

"Just bloody tell me! I'm telling you, I'll do anything!"

"Be my Valentine's date here!"

I didn't realize just what I had said before I had actually said it... As soon as I understood what I had uttered, I slapped my hands over my mouth. I was so silly. So fucking silly. Sirius would laugh at my face any time now, the other customers joining in. I'd die of embarrassement.

"Fine..." He said after a while of agonizing silence.

What? He wasn't laughing, that was for sure. What did he mean 'fine'?

"Huh?"

"I said fine. But don't even think about trying to get out of it. On Valentine's Day, we'll be sitting right fucking here and you'll be my date. Understood?"

Was it my imagination or had his voice gotten a great deal lower? I nodded automatically.

"Say it."

"Say what?"

"That you understand."

"I understand."

He visibly relaxed. I visibly tensed. Maybe this wasn't so great after all.

* * *

The walk back to the school was mostly awkward since Sirius kept looking at me and I kept looking at him and neither of us had wiped out tears so we probably looked like lunatics.

When we got to the dorm, James quickly went upstairs, clearly wanting to leave us alone.

I wasn't looking at Sirius, or so he thought. I was looking at him via the glass of the window, observing his every movement.

He stretched his arm out to touch my shoulder but seemed to hesitate and he pulled it back. He cleared his throat to get my attention instead. Hah! As if he didn't already have it all the time.

"I don't know if it means anything to you, but... uhm... I got you this from Honeydukes." He said and placed something in my hand.

"When did you buy it? We were together the whole time." I inquired.

"You were too busy trying to avoid my eyes..."

And, just like that, he left.

I could feel the heat on my cheeks and I knew I was blushing. I looked in my hand to find that he had given me chocolate. But not just any chocolate. It was my favourite, dark chocolate with raspberry filling. And in the shape of a rose, no less.

He never struck me as romantic.

My blush followed me all the way to the shower and then to lunch, which proved to be quite eventful. I had no idea what I was in for...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


	8. Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry but this is shorter, I'll try to make up for it, I promise... Enjoy! :)

Just like any other Christmas, the four House tables had vanished and one single table had replaced them, enough for those spending the holidays at Hogwarts.

We were eating and discussing the homework we had for the holidays when a hand landed on my shoulder and turned me around. A couple of red masses of hair is all I saw before two hands brought me on my feet. I stared dumbly at the girls.

"Evans? McKinnon? What do you want?"

"A word, Lupin?" Marlene said.

"Sure.." I muttered. Even though, by the look in her eyes and the way she had started walking before I responded, I got that I never actually had a choice in the first place. As I followed her, Lily promptly refused the invitation to occupy the seat I had left next to James and quietly waited without sitting down.

No sooner had we left the room than Marlene grabbed me by the collar and slammed me on the nearest wall. I was in shock.

"Listen here, Lupin! I don't know what you're playing at but Sirius is mine! You hear that?  _Mine_ _!_ Whatever love potion you have managed to give him won't work because he's  _mine._ "

She looked like she could kill me with just a flick of her wand. And what nonesense was she talking about? Love potion? I'm not as shallow and pathetic as she is! Oh. My. God. I actually sodding said that someone else is more pathetic than me! Well, that's certainly a new one.

"I didn't do anything of the sort and Sirius is a  _person_ , not  _property_! You will do well to remember that!" I said angrily and shoved her away from me, making her hit the opposite wall.

She fumbled with her robes a bit, trying to get her wand out but, let's be real, I was quicker. The moment I saw it, all it took was an ' _'_ _Expelliarmus!'_ and her wand was in my hand before she had time to say 'Quidditch'.

Since I was feeling quite bold at that moment, I walked up to her and whispered;

"And if he were, sorry to disappoint you, but he would be  _mine_."

I intentionally dropped her wand as a wizarding version of 'dropping the mic' and walked back in the Hall like the fucking badass I was. It didn't matter that James and Sirius raised questioning eyebrows at my smirk or that they looked confused. At that moment, all that mattered was the glare of death McKinnon was giving me, kowing bloody well she had lost that day's battle. Who knew? Maybe she'd win the next? Hah, as if!

* * *

"What did McKinnon want earlier?" Sirius asked me later in the corridor. I resisted the urge to smirk again.

"Nothing of import. So... what are we going to do today?" I shrugged as I spoke for the sake of feigning nonchalance.

"I suggest going to find Evans." James said. Typical.

"What else would  _you_ suggest. Well, I guess if you insist..."

So, we were off to find Evans so she could reject James again. How fun...

* * *

"Don't even think about it, Potter." Lily said when she spotted James, confidently walking towards her.

"Too late because I haven't stopped thinking about it ever since I met you."

Even though I have to say that he deserved the punch he received, I must admit that that line was pretty smooth.

I noticed Severus Snape smiling and silently laughing when James got hit by the fierce redhead. Oh no... I could smell trouble...

"What are  _you_  laughing at?" James barked at the Slytherin.

Snape didn't answer, very wisely if you ask me, but James continued.

"It's not like  _you_ stand a chance anyway. What with being all pathetic and~"

"At least  _he_ 's not a whore! Unlike someone else!" Lily said, shooting a look of disgust towards James before stomping off, Snape right next to her.

"Next time, she'll give in to my charm." James said.

I snorted.

"You've been saying that for four years, Prongs, it's not going to happen."

"Why?"

"Maybe it's because of your hair..." I teased him. The look on his face was almost comical.

"But... but my hair is awesome..."

Sirius and I laughed out loud and everything seemed to have gone back to normal. And it continued being that way. For a while...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


	9. Back to school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm late and I'm also sorry I will keep being late because I am on holidays and there's is no Internet connection here so I will only update whenever I am back home, which will be about... once every two weeks, maybe... Humble apologies and I will try to keep up. Enjoy! :)

The holidays passed by swimmingly.

It was an extremely pleasant fortnight, full of snow fights, chocolate and after-midnight escapades at Hogsmeade.

However, not everything was perfect. Nothing is ever truly perfect.

A few days into the new year, a full moon was due. Of course, James and Sirius were with me but that didn't mean I wasn't a complete wreck the following morning.

I woke up in the Shrieking Shack in a bundle of torn clothes. James quickly wrapped me in some sort of blanket (well, sue me, I wasn't really in the position to pay much attention) and Sirius carried me back in the castle as if I were lighter than a feather. They sneaked in the dorm and I went to sleep for a day non-stop.

They were so sweet...

They brought me food from the kitchen while I was in bed and James went as far as to go to the library to bring me a book I needed for homework. However, the homework I was doing was going to be copied by him later but I found it sweet nonetheless.

But anyway, if you don't count the transformation, the holiday was totally awesome, like always.

So... back we were in the Great Hall on the first day of school after Christmas, eating breakfast.

I was sitting next to Peter while James and Sirus were sitting opposite to us. Peter was babbling about all the different types of food his family had prepared for the Christmas feast, which, let me tell you, could compete against Hogwarts, and I was discreetly and politely half-ingoring him while scowling at my cereal. Seriously, they were rainbow coloured. I'm starting to think the house elves that prepare the food are mocking me in my face.

At some point, I looked up only to find that Sirius wasn't listening to Peter either. However, he didn't do it like me, smiling every once in a while and acting like I was paying attention. No. He was full-on staring at me, completely ignoring everyone else, including James. It was weird, really, and intense, like he was telling me something but I didn't know what.

But, judging from the way his lips had formed a suggestive smirk and he darted his tongue out to lick them regularly, I wasn't sure I wanted to know what he was telling me. I looked away quickly, heat rising up to my cheeks.

"So?"

I snapped back to reality by Peter asking a question. Wasn't he just now talking about meatloaf? Was that question directed at me?

"Moony?"

Definitely directed at me. What was the question again?

"I'm sorry, what?" I said, clealry not interested in whatever they were asking me and showing it.

"I asked who you're going with on Valentine's Day." Peter asked.

Déjà vu. I had been asked that before, in the same manner. I had even not paid attention and they had to ask me twice. But... hadn't that been James?

Clearly, I was zoning out and Peter, not-as-innocent-as-you-think-Peter, elbowed me in the ribs to get my attention.

"I asked~" Peter insisted but was interrupted.

"Oh, leave him alone, he's out of it." Sirius butted in. "He's going with me."

I simply looked at them.

"Wha~?! Ooohhh, I see... Neither of you found dates so you're going together, right?"

"Nope." Sirius said, popping the 'p' and looking damn smug. "We just fancy each other and~"

"Sirius!" I finally snapped out of it and chastisised him promptly.

What was he thinking? Okay, sure, maybe I was starting to believe that he might indeed have some feelings for me but that didn't give him the right to announce it in front of the whole Gryffindor table. And he wasn't whispering either. More like shouting.

"What?" He asked, obviously irritated.

"You better stop shouting it from the rooftops." I tried my best to glare at him but he merely smirked harder.

"I don't know about rooftops but the Astronomy Tower seems pretty tempting~"

"Shut it!" I whispered/yelled. Yes, both whispered and yelled. At the same time. Yes, it is possible.

"Or what?" He said, leaning on the table to come closer to me and, damn, was that suggestive. He was doing it on purpose, the bastard! But fuck me if he wasn't hot while doing it... Wait, what? Remus, snap out of it!

"Or you'll do well to find yourself another date for Valentine's Day. Let's say... Marlene McKinnon?" I challenged.

The smirk fell from his face and he sat back on his seat, looking a bit resigned. That'll do it!

However, as much as I enjoyed saying that stuff to get to Sirius, I would flip hard shit if McKinnon laid a finger on him. I hoped she had learnt her lesson.

"But, just so you know, if you let me tell the whole school ~teachers and Slytherins included, I don't discriminate~ it will be easier to believe me, don't you think?" He said, casually, like it was nothing.

I was blushing. Not because he was looking at me with such sincerity in his eyes, not because Peter was choking on his pumkin juice and trying to understand what was going on but because of James. James was downright staring at me, ordering me, with his eyes, to stop this little dance between me and Sirius and to just believe him. But I couldn't, not so easily....

I said nothing to that and, surprisingly, he let it go. He didn't shout it to the Slytherins either, which was a good thing, I didn't want the Slytherins laughing at me too.

* * *

In the evening, James and I were sitting in the Common Room while Sirius was asleep on the carpet by the fireplace and Peter was already upstairs because he was tired.

"Don't think I haven't noticed." James suddenly said.

"Huh?" As eloquent as ever, me.

"They way you look at each other. How every touch between you lingered during the holidays. It's real, you know. It's okay."

I sighed. James just didn't understand.

How could he? He was handsome, hot as all Hell, smart, overall  _desirable_. How could he ever get why someone would lie about liking somebody? He was the Golden Boy of our school, with messy hair, sun-kissed skin and mad skills on a broom, who wouldn't like him for real? Oh, dear Lord, why couldn't I have fallen for James instead, it would have been so much easier...

But, as I said before, nothing is ever truly perfect.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


	10. Potions are not so great after all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry, again, for being M.I.A. but I hope you understand that it's very difficult for me to update these days. Anyway, this chapter is probably shorter and worse than the others because I have been standing outside this shop for hours because there's Wi-Fi here and I am updating on my mobile. I was feeling bad, you see, and I really wanted to update. I hope this doesn't suck too much... Enjoy :)

"Stop it!" I reprimanded Sirius for the umpteenth time that morning.

We had Potions with Hufflepuff and Sirius kept messing with my hair, running his hands through it and ruffling it. I was trying hard (not really but  _sue me_ ) to pry his hands off my head but I couldn't.

"Nope." Why did he always pop the 'p'?

"It's annoying and disconcerting, stop it."

But I knew why he did it. I hadn't gotten a haircut in a while and my hair was starting to resemble his in shape and length. It was, admittedly, fun to mess with, though. Well, if it weren't, I wouldn't have spent fifteen minutes in the bathroom messing it up before class. 

Suddenly, I was all-too-aware of the silence in the classroom and the look Professor Slughorn was giving us. I looked down and blushed. 

"If you are this eager to talk, Mr. Lupin, maybe you could tell us something useful and identify this potion?"

I froze. I, Remus 'good student and prefect' Lupin, had just gotten told off by a teacher for talking in class. Merlin's beard, what was happening to me? 

But, no probs, I could definitely identify any potion, for sure. However, I wasn't all that confident walking up to the desk on which a cauldron awaited.

Small comment: of-sodding-course we were sitting in the back of the classroom  _despite my constant protests._

One small whiff of the air even remotely close to the potion after it had been uncovered left no doubt, especially with my acute sense of smell, courtesy of the wolf. Unless the room was filled with chocolate, that was Amortentia.

Getting closer and seeing its mother-of-pearl sheen made me 100% sure. 

"That is Amortentia, Sir, the most powerful love potion in the world." I said with certainty because, well, I was certain. 

"And you know that how, my lad?"

"It is distinctive for its mother-of-pearl sheen and its spiralling steam which are evident here but, even if I knew neither of these, it's smell alone should be enough."

He seemed no longer irritated by my talking and more pleased with my answer. I was pleased too even though I heard a couple of "nerd"s, courtesy of Marlene McKinnon, no doubt. 

"And, would it be too invasive of me to ask what it smells like to you, young man?"

Yes. 

"Not at all." I replied instead. "It smells like chocolate, lots of it, old parchment, maybe wood, coffee and~"

I stopped myself abruptly. You don't tell the whole class you are attracted to leather. One, they would probably mock me and start making kinky jokes and the sort and Two, I didn't want to give Sirius the chance to be smug. He'd know it was because of him. 

"And...?"

"Maybe a trace of cherry." Not a total lie. 

"Romantic, I see. Very well, Mr. Lupin, you may return to your seat."

And I did so gladly. Did he have to make that romance comment? Sometimes, teachers just want to embarrass us, I swear.

When I threw myself dramatically on my seat, Sirius laughed. 

"Romantic, eh?" he asked teasingly.

"Shut up, it's not funny."

"Some very important information has been acquired today, of course it's not funny."

I looked at him in confusion. Important information? What did he mean? 

He motioned towards the parchment in front of him and I blushed when my eyes fell on it. He had noted down the scents. All but the cherry. 

"What happened to the cherry?" I asked jokingly. "Weren't you paying attention?"

He smirked wickedly. 

"Oh, I was paying enough attention to know that you were lying. Don't think I didn't catch up on that, you're not a good liar."

I blushed heavily and tried to think of something to say. 

"And how, may I ask, will you use that information to your advantage?"

"Let's just say I'm planning something in advance."

My eyes widened when I realized he was talking about Valentine's Day. 

"That's a whole month from now!"

"So? It has to be perfect and, honestly, I'm not sure the time is enough."

I didn't know he had been planning it for so long and I was stunned into silence. Maybe I was being mean but I had no idea he considered it that important. 

So, maybe I wasn't the only one counting the days... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


	11. Infirmary... again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry for being so late but school started and I have been very busy with lessons and the sort and I can't find time at all. But I love you guys a lot so I'm writing this instead of sleeping and I hope it's not that crappy.  
> Enjoy! :)

It had been a few days since the incident in Potions and Sirius and I had not talked about... us since then.

But then, Sirius decided it would be a great time to mention it in the Great Hall while we were eating breakfast.

"Moons, do you love me?"

I choked on my pumkin juice and started coughing loudly, getting a few hits on the back by Peter, who was sitting next to me.

Once I managed to get a deep breath without coughing I looked up only to see Sirius, who was sporting a very worried face and had leaned forward to see if I was okay.

Only, the very close proximity ~I could feel his breath on my lips, for Merlin's sake!~ startled me and I abruptly leaned backwards in order to put some distance between us.

But in my urgency to get away from him I forgot that the seats in the Great Hall had no bloody back rest!

If you're wondering, yes, I fell. I bloody fell! My back hit the floor and I groaned because my head did too.

It was all so embarrassing... Everyone was staring at me and I was in pain and Sirius was so fucking sweet and trying to understand if I was okay and trying to pick me up and it was too surreal...

Thinking back on what happened, I can remember I saw McKinnon somewhere close but I was too freaked-out/embarrassed/done-with-all-that-shit to actually think about it...

Now I wish I had because if, for one second, I had stopped and asked myself why she would be there when she clearly didn't care what happened to me, I wouldn't be in the Infirmary...

* * *

We were in History of Magic when I first felt somewhat weird. I didn't say anything, however, because I didn't want to worry the others and I was convinced it was really nothing.

"So... do you love me?" Sirius whispered to me.

This time, I almost choked on air. 

"Excuse me?" I whispered back, eyes wide.

"What? I want to know."

"Fine, I do, satisfied?" I snapped.

"Not really." He replied nonchalantly. "I do too, you know. I only wish you'd believe me."

The truth was, I was starting to believe him. The constant insisting and all that stuff were, indeed, starting to get to me.

"Look, to be honest, I..." I trailed off.

Surprisingly, I couldn't remember what I was going to say, who I was going to say it to, where I was, anything. The whole room was spinning and my brain felt as if it had been covered by a cloud of wool. I couldn't think clearly. Any attempt at thinking anything shot up my spine like a wave of pain. I was distinctly aware of Sirius' hand on my back and that he was trying to tell me something.

Suddenly, my vision was filled with red. I felt wetness on my face and brought up my hand to my nose, only to find that it was indeed bleeding, dripping on my History book.

Then, my eyes sort of rolled back and I lost it. I was vaguely aware of someone carrying me but I couldn't see or think. I felt really weak and scared at that moment. I tried to hold on tighter to whoever was carrying me.

* * *

Next thing I knew, I woke up in the Infirmary to a fight. Again.

"You don't understand, professor! We can't let shit like that happen!" That was Sirius' voice.

"Calm yourself down, Mr. Black. If we cannot prove who tried to poison Mr. Lupin, there is nothing we can do. You may have some suspicions but we can do nothing without evidence. I suggest you calm down." And was that McGonagall replying?

But no matter how much I tried to open my eyes, I couldn't. Soon, my head started to hurt and I gave up trying. I fell back asleep shortly after.

However, not before remebering seeing McKinnon close to me at breakfast....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


	12. Sod it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry, guys but I've been hella busy with school and the sort, what with starting Seniot High School and all. And on top of all the mathematics, physics and chemistry classes I have in the afternoon, I also have English and French classes, for Merlin's sake! And I've got my English exams coming up in December and I've been working my ass off for that as well. I haven't slept for days, guys, I hope you understand. Again, apologies for being horribly late but I can't really do anything about it. That's all, boys and girls!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :D

"Just let it go, Pads, it's not that important."

"Are you fucking joking?! She tried to poison you!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose in an attempt to calm the headache that was threatening to emerge.

We were in the Common Room, me sitting on the couch and Sirius on the floor in front of me. The bloke is a maniac, I'm telling you! For at least an hour, he had been trying to convince me to go to McGonagall and tell her that McKinnon had poisoned me. For at least an hour, I had been trying to convince him otherwise.

"It will only mean more trouble, Sirius, forget it." I sighed.

"Do you even hear yourself? She hurt you!"

"I know but~"

"You know? Well, I know, too! I carried you in my arms while you were bleeding non-stop on me and mumbling incoherently in pain, don't tell me it's not important!" he growled.

I understood there was some truth in his words but this was a war he didn't know about and I wanted to fight it alone.

"Okay, fine, you're absolutely right! It  _is_ important and she shouldn't go unpunished but please, for me, don't do anything. I will feel better if you don't." I said, playing the you-love-me card.

I know, I know, it was unfair and manipulative but, Hell, he can do it, too.

He looked at me and pouted before sighing defeatedly.

"You're lucky I love you, you know..." he said and I blushed. "Which reminds me... What did you want to tell me before the poison kicked in?"

I went into full defense mode. I mean, I couldn't just tell him, right?

"Oh, it's nothing important, I'd forgotten all about it." I muttered.

"Remus..." he warned.

"No, really, it's nothing."

"You're a terrible liar." he said. Well, true... "Tell me."

"It's just that... I don't know anymore... I want to believe you, I do. But I don't want to get hurt. Up until now, it was easy to convince myself that you were lying, no offence. But now, I just... kind of don't know why not to believe you and I'm... confused. Do you understand?" I asked.

"Not really but I think I get the picture..." he said and stood up to sit down beside me, causing me to turn in order to face him. "Why do you do this to us, Moons?"

"Do what?" I asked, even though I knew bloody well what.

Okay, maybe I was being unreasonable and, alright, maybe I was causing us both unnecessary pain but it couldn't be real. I didn't deserve it.

"You're tormenting us both. I love you and you love me so why all this trouble? I'm telling you, I don't mind doing anything to prove myself to you or waiting however long you wish but this is getting ridiculous. You're acknowledging, at last, that I'm not having you on but still you won't let me -let  _us_ \- have this. Why?" he said and I could see the sadness in his grey eyes.

I didn't answer. He knew I wouldn't. Why would I? We both knew it was all because of my stupid insecurities and self-loathing.

So, I decided to sod it all and just...  _live_ the moment.

So, in the Gryffindor Common Room, at 2:34 AM, while everyone was sleeping, I grabbed Sirius Black by the nape and smashed my lips on his.

He gasped but kissed back nonetheless.

It was weird, my first kiss. It took a while for me to get used to his lips and tongue on mine but I found it was absolutely hot once I did. Slowly but surely I realized I was breathing heavily into the kiss and occasionally letting out sounds embarrassingly akin to moans. I broke the kiss and struggled to catch my breath, a string of saliva connecting our mouths.

I hadn't noticed his hand tangled in my hair until then but I did notice it didn't leave much space for distance.

He glanced from my lips to my eyes a couple of times and when I opened my mouth to speak -to apologize, to tell him I love him, anything!- he shut me up. With his mouth. At the same time, he brought his other hand to my chest and pushed me on my back on the couch.

I was snapped back to reality.

"W-wait... Sirius... wait!" I said and he pulled away.

"What?" he asked and it was a relief to hear he was just as affected as I was.

"Aren't we moving a little too fast?" I said breathily.

Sirius blushed and moved to get off of me but I grabbed his forearm.

"I didn't mean... Don't stop. Just... Let's kust keep it to kissing, alright?" I asked and wondered how I even said so many words.

"Yeah, yeah, excellent." he said and kissed me urgently again. I groaned in his mouth.

Needless to say, even if we were, indeed, just kissing, neither of us got much sleep that night...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


	13. Hey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something you don't quite expect, fellas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the beginning, this chapter may not make any sense but you'll see, you'll understand later... If this idea is a total failure let me know, because I'm planning to do this once in a while, and I wouldn't like for it to be bad, you deserve nice chapters! Enjoy! :D

Okay, lads, I'm really not an arsehole.

Is that laughter I hear?!

I said: I. Am. Not. An. Arsehole. For real.

Now that that's out of the way, why does everyone seem to think I am?

Alright, sometimes I'm rude, I get it, you get it, everybody gets it! Sometimes I'm just a wee bit (if wee bit means as fuck) more offensive than I should but, aren't we all? And I'll give you that  _maybe_ sometimes I say things I don't mean and get a bit nasty and maybe even hurt people's feelings and sometimes, just sometimes, I act a bit selfishly and, o- _kay_ , maybe I am quite condescending at times and, okay, I forgot where I was going with this...

What I want to say is that my prat-ness is within normal limits.

 _Or not._ my mind butted in.

 _You shut up._ I said right back.

But, honestly, my mates, I'm not as much of a douche as people make me out to be.

I understand that I may not be the nicest or the most considerate person but cut me some slack, okay? It's not like I'm the fucking devil or anything, I'm human. I think.

And this new trend? People believing I am incapable of love? Horseshit! I may not be very... humane... most of the time but, seriously?! I am very much capable of falling in love, thank you very much.

But that's the bloody problem!

Love fucking hurts, okay?

And I ain't talking about stupid crushes that start as wanking material and unceremoniously disappear two weeks later when the bloke or bird gets a haircut and you think they're ugly, no! I ain't talking about the _'de_ _liciously hot keeper of Hufflepuff, James, real keeper, if you get my drift, mate'_ whose name I don't even remember. I'm talking about the hard stuff here, no pun intended, I hope I make myself clear.

Real love, it's suicide, I'm telling you.

People talk about stabbing yourself to die, falling off a cliff, gulping down poison or throwing yourself in the sea when you don't know how to swim. Nah, mate. You wanna die? Fall in love. You'll die every day, talking from personal experience.

And what's with the bloody butterflies, mate?

Sometimes I wish I could just digest the fucking things because every damn time I see him my stomach ties to a bloody knot and I struggle to breathe.

Not to mention the chills.

And when I say chills I mean the ones running down my spine every time I hear his voice.

Ah, and the motherfucking thing with the knees...

And by that I mean the way I get weak at the knees every time he says my name and they almost give out, bloody things.

And, last but not least, the bloody spark whenever he touches me.

A light touch on my arm? My mind is like  _'You better remember that, mate, he just touched us!'_. Full-on holding hands?  _'Yeah, you're 'bout to feel that for a week, hope that's okay with you.'._

And it bloody isn't!

It's not okay!

I repeat: It. Is. Not. Okay!

I'm freaking out here, give me a break! I'd never fallen for anyone before and now I've gone and gotten myself royally screwed, mate, and not the good kind. All these... feelings! I'm not used to it, okay?!

And if that weren't enough, not only do I have to accept what I feel but I also have to fucking prove it to him!

And I guess he does have a point but explaining what I feel, how and why I feel it and actually convincing him that I truly do fucking feel it is driving me crazy.

And I am willing to do my best in order to make him believe me, I really am. But this is getting out of hand fast! I can see he believes me now, so what's the point?!

But, you know what? In the end, it doesn't really matter what I think. If he's got the impression that I am such a jerk then that's my fault and I've got to try to correct it.

So, instead of sitting on my arse and complaining I should probably get down to business...

But not tonight.

Tonight I'll just stay on the couch with him and make out with him until he falls asleep. Tomorrow though...

Oh, tomorrow is another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Okay? Good? Awesome? Awful? Horrible? You know, constructive criticism is always welcome and all that shit. Tell me my mistakes, people!  
> Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


	14. Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, guys, luv y'all.  
> Enjoy! :D

"I'm listening." James announced during Transfigurations, seated between Sirius and me.

We hadn't told him anything about the Common Room Incident. We hadn't even really spoken ourselves.

"We're listening, too, Mr. Potter, so save it for later." McGonagall commented coldly and I wished I could ever be  _that_ savage. I swear that woman is the epitome of everything I want to be.

James shot her one of his charming smiles and turned back to me, then to Sirius, then back to me.

"I'm listening." he whispered, considerably more quietly than before.

"What are you talking about, Prongs?" Sirius asked, running a hand through his curly hair and pretending not to know what this was about.

"I'm talking about how you are no longer the miserable pup I had to console the other day and about how Remus is almost as red as his tie." James answered, voice going nigh normal again.

I blushed even more, it was that obvious? I quickly looked down at my parchment, dipping my quill in ink and moving on to the next question, pretending I had heard nothing.

"While Mr. Lupin's colour is indeed very interesting to all of us, Mr. Potter, your parchment's colour, which is totally and fully white, is even more interesting. Stop talking and answer the questions." McGonagall delivered again and if I hadn't been too busy being embarrassed, I would have appreciated it a whole lot more. I may have even wolf-whistled in my head, 'scuse the pun.

"Well, I'm not having  _my_ questions answered..." James muttered and finally got to work.

At least he didn't mention it again...

* * *

... until the next class. He didn't mention it again until the next class, which, unfortunately, happened to be Binns's class, meaning that James could talk as much as he wished uninterrupted.

"Guys, c'mon, what's going on?" he asked. "What are you not telling me?" he added dramatically.

"If you must know..." Sirius started and I could bloody well hear it in his voice, he  _wanted_ to tell James, he hadn't only because I didn't want to. He looked over at me for confirmation. I nodded in defeat. "Moony kissed me last night." he announced, barely holding his smile.

But James's reaction was something else.

I never really thought about how he felt that his best friends were being idiots and fighting and doing the stuff that we (I) were (was) doing. I mean, sure, I knew he didn't like it, he'd said as much, but I didn't think he was so sad about that stuff.

But I realized he was when a genuine smile lit up his face, followed by a loud laugh as James took off his glasses in a dramatic motion, stood and slammed his free hand on the desk, roaring a 'YES!'.

"Detention, Mr. Potter!" Binns yelled suddenly, pointing at James, but James didn't seem at all troubled by it.

"Thank you, Sir!" James yelled back immediately, eliciting a wave of laughter from the whole class.

Even Evans was laughing loudly, head thrown back and green eyes closed, probably so openly because James couldn't see her...

* * *

After Binns's class, James couldn't hold in his excitement. He kept asking questions, not waiting for them to be answered before he moved on to another question, not caring whether it was directed at Sirius or me.

Those questions were also quite inappropriate and made me flush even deeper every time.

"I mean, it took you long enough. And, like, did you two  _do it_ after that? Oh, wait, oh my God! Who topped, who bottomed? Oh Gods! Did you switch?!"

He wouldn't shut up, even if Sirius kept insisting that nothing further than kissing occured in the curse Common Room. I ddidn't miss, however, the sly look Sirius shot my way, as if saying 'Yeah, I wouldn't have minded it if something further than kissing  _had_ occured.'.

I did what I do best recently; I blushed.

However, as we were walking towards the Great Hall for lunch later, Sirius came to walk to my right, taking my hand in his while very successfully continuing his discussion with James about how 'Yes, Moony and I kissed before you and Evans, boo-fucking-hoo, Prongs' and how 'You'll see, Pads, just you wait until Valentine's Day.'.

I blushed even harder when Sirius leaned down and whispered in my ear;

"Just  _you_ wait until then, Moons."

* * *

Later that day, in the Common Room, Sirius, Peter and I were sitting together, Peter doing whatever the Hell he was doing and Sirius and I, well, talking.

"So... what are we?" I asked, the question had been plaguing me all day.

"Humans." Sirius replied, like the idiotic idiot he is. "Most of the time." he added.

I punched him in the arm slightly.

"Like, does this make us... what? What does it make us?" I asked, more seriously.

"Whatever you want it to." Sirius replied.

"So... boyfriends?" I askde tentatively.

Sirius just grinned like an idiot.

"Faggots..." McKinnon muttered as she passed us and sat on an armchair opposite to the couch we were occupying.

"Correct!" Sirius exclaimed suddenly, leaning into me and planting a kiss on my lips.

What did I expect again?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yours truly, ImpalaChevy67


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